Perhaps it was the karma of yesterday’s post that made what seemed like impossible… possible. Like the plan suggested I went through the chain of events by leaving the humdrum of work life to entering the stop-and-go zombies of commuters migrating like cattle back to their pigeon holes. After an hour of stop & go, loud music, and blasting cold air to keep my alive.. I made it home. It was no refuge, however, upon entering the house a cellphone bill was thrust at me like a dagger. $111 for last month’s cellphone use. I looked through the phone numbers (all between me and my girlfriend) and asked politely “how much do I gotta pay you?” the drama exploded from there resulting in me eventually pulling down the earth flag & American flag outta the wind or at least that was the reason I gave to do it. In truth, it was me finally giving up and declaring defeat. I had nothing left to fight for that day… I was done.

I quietly ate my dinner and watched as the black caucus ripped apart another white shock jock… I didn’t have any energy to say that they that in my opinion they should first examine what’s on UPN 49 with all their black television shows, before they crucify another white guy on “multi-cultural issues” (read what should be called bi-cultural issues).

It wasn’t long before my body quit and demanded that I rest. I slowly trudged to the refuge of my room with the lights off and collapsed in a heap on the bed. For about a solid hour I slept comfortably until Dad came rushing in asking for a copy of a DVD of his. Well copy a DVD? No prob. I awoke parts of my body so that I could function enough to get this small task out of the way, but technology was against me. My computer spat out the disks I fed it and the software popped up error messages like a little kid who refused to eat his veggies. I was flustered, tired, and didn’t want to fight it. The deadline was the next morning @ 8 bells (8am) so after 2 1/2 hours of fighting I just copied the DVD’s to my hard drive and went to bed at (ironically) 12:30pm roughly an half hour from the previous nights…

once again *sigh* life must love it’s subtle lectures.

~J out

Perhaps the long nights and meetings has put my head into a daze. All day I’ve been nodding off just to wake myself up again and then get that rush of embarrassment. The answer would obviously be to get some more sleep or atleast go to bed earlier. However… that is easier then reality. The chain of events from leaving my cubicle here at work to getting to my bed is a long chain reaction that has a big possibility of just repeting yesterday’s ordeal.

Where did nap time go? I remember back to a time in pre-school where they’d provided a crucial time for us young’ns to sleep… But don’t think that now that I’m 22, I have some fantastic stamina!

Oh but I suppose the pain and suffering is just life telling me

“hey fool! Liv’n ain’t no fairy ride… you’s gotta EARN tat feel good sheeet!”

*sigh*

~J

I can’t excuse myself from not posting, but the agony of not has forced me (with limited time) to post this…

Tonight at LC will be an International Symposium that I’m very excited about. However, while this will no doubt be full of exciting and interesting ideas about Iraq, I should be researching and typing out papers that will soon be due.

I appologize if the post slowly come out. Soon finals will be over and I’ll be free do lots of things like design my own website. Yes… I’ve been diligently researching between breaks on how to make not just a cheezy website from tripod or some web-based thing, but a real one. On top of all that is registering and stuff for next year. Oh and did I mention that I work? Yeah… busy busy ‘eh? Sometimes it drives me mad.

Well I’ll try to take notes and given the next opportunity I’ll try to convey what the speakers tried to argue.

~J out

This is what I’ve talked about today in discussions and debates. Oh what a day. Not that much was discussed… since the sun is out not much will be talked about anywhere I guess.

Oh how the sun makes the problems go away…

atleast for now

~J

I’m back to the normal schedule now which means class -> (then) work.

Coming back or at least driving to school has given me an insight that is purely obvious, but not often appreciated.

Coming back to school and being in this ‘intellectual atmosphere’ gives me some regret over what I should have done over spring break. There in lies the problem ‘eh? If I were working on paper outlines and research then it wouldn’t be a break, but that flies like brick in air. The feeling of guilt over not doing what I should have and the anxiety of having to do what I must do (write papers, research, etc etc.) just builds up for overly stressed and vulnerable students.

It’s almost inherent in humans to utilize ‘so called break time‘ for it’s original purpose. However, here I am stressing over what I must do in the next month. Teachers should recognize the plight of the student and devise a way to under stress us. I.e. it would be great if they could compound the guilt of not working on the papers one day and then the next let us run to the library and write up outlines and stuff… i.e. give us a break after THE BREAK.

I’m confident I’ll work it out.. and… if all fails just to remember that after the first week of May it’ll be over regardless. (unless I do summer sch.)

Btw.. blip with the last computer config. (it didn’t boot up) so I switched the Mobo and now it works and runs really fast!

Good luck to Tink whose starting spring quarter.. here’s the best of luck. (I got roughly a month left!)

~J out