According to my passport I left Japan January 4th, 2007 which means I was in the US by either Jan 4th, or Jan 3rd (with the time difference). That equates to nearly two and a half years that have passed since I last lived ‘somewhere else.’ A lot of things have happened between then and now… Good things & and not so good things. As a part of the first of my reflections I wanted look back at what all transpired and how I think I’ve changed.
Truth be told 4 months nearly isn’t enough to ‘change a man’ for life, unless it’s an experience like the one I did to Sapporo, Japan in Fall of 2006. You could say that before then my idea of Japan and the Japanese was very reflective of the rosy depictions written all throughout western literature on the East. My time over there changed that view and changed how I saw the world around me.
I believe that I have evolved over the last two years to be more reflective of core Japanese values… Sometimes to the demise of long lasting relationships who found it hard to cope with me post-Japan. I wouldn’t call this evolution positive or negative, but just ‘an evolution.’ It’s captured me into this weird space where I find myself being an apologist for Japan, then flipping back to critique things I feel are grave problems of Japanese society. People think it as being indecisive, while I flatter myself with the notion of flirting with my own duality of thought.
Time spent in the US from then to now has been wholesome. I’ve grown to love and respect all sorts of new people as well as learn more about Portland then I ever expected I would. Thus, I shall miss Portland and Vancouver, and the people in it. However, a driving odd sensation has called me to return to the brazened land of the rising sun and I’ve decided to heed it’s call.
I think a majority of these transition years was just confusion on my part over what I really wanted. I believed that service in the Navy would fulfill that desire I’ve had since returning– however, once it finally came I pulled back only because I could feel that perhaps I could apply myself in other ways. I don’t regret not going through with it at all… If anything it has focused me like a lens on a long telephoto camera as to what’s really calling me.
There are things that I’ll miss dearly. For one… Objectivity & strong opinions. I came back during a pinnacle period that was the longest presidential campaign of my life. I treasure those moments. The USA is a beautiful and wonderful flourishing democracy and I love it dearly. For the time I’ve been here since returning to Japan I have regained the essence of America and will be proud to represent it in little over a month’s time.
~J out
**Next post.. Leaving The US- “From Patriot to Ex-Pat”
