Ok so I was naive to think that an action I made wouldn’t be accompanied by a reaction of equal magnitude in the opposite direction.
That is to say, “actio et reactio.” or translated, “My big mouth and the reaction to it”
Reading over my last post again, I realize that it’s in conflict with things I’ve written in the past. Specifically it conflicts with an opinion I had on April 21, 2009 in the post Don’t look back in Anger. Back then, when I was writing with regards to challenges of studying Japanese, I wrote that it’s “important to overcome challenges through persistence.” Here’s a quote from that post:
I’m becoming a firm believer of “that which is my weakness can be overcome through persistence.”…. The principal here is not to look back in anger and acknowledge that weaknesses you are having (or always had) are some sort of justifiable barrier. Because they are not, in fact every one of these ‘ghosts’ that re-appear that you conquer goes to show just how awesome you really are. Failure can be overcome with motivation. That because in an of itself, failure does not represent Total-Failure–
In trying to say “I can’t express myself to you” I’m acknowledging a weaknesses, a failure, I am having (or always have had) as some sort of justifiable barrier… Thus I think an earlier Josh would read the last post and say, “Hey you just aren’t trying hard enough man” and he’d be right, I haven’t been.
I’ve allowed, to an extent, my location, my isolation here, and other factors to take over my time and as a result neglected the important things I would have never allowed to be neglected in the past. That’s a big flaw on my part.
However there’s still hope in that while I’ve failed many times,
failure does not represent Total-Failure
Or so I hope. Learning these lessons one by one is tough and takes time to work through what I really want.
I appreciate your comments and more importantly your patience.